Practical Information For Today's Christian Woman

Is there ever a time when we need to cut off negative relationships?  Guest writer Richard Jarzynka shares his thoughts concerning this touchy subject.  

Christ and Cutting Somebody Out of Your Life

Author: Richard Jarzynka

Is there a time for you, as a Christian, to tell somebody that you will no longer have anything to do with them? And, if so, how do you do that in a Christlike manner?

Last May I ended an acquaintance that had lasted for ten years. I had encountered this man, on average, a couple of times per week over that decade and from the start I noticed that he tended to become very negative about many things. Sometimes I agreed with him. Most times, I did not. But our conversations were usually friendly and occasionally thought-provoking, so, I maintained the relationship.

But over the course of years, I steadily wore down.

We had several bitter arguments about matters of little importance. And a couple of others in which I told him straight-out that I am a Christian and that I was not going to listen to his sordid sexual comments about women or racial slurs of immigrants and Muslims. Like me, this man claims to be a Christian.

Notwithstanding my increasing discomfort with this man, I felt the need to be something of a friend to him. I apologized after a couple of arguments and, perhaps, should have done so more. I encouraged his efforts to get in shape. And I made at least a half-hearted effort to understand his contrary points of view and look past his pessimistic nature, put-downs of others, and gossip. But more and more I found myself anticipating his next negative barrage and preparing my counter-arguments. I discovered myself, a number of times, actively hoping not to see him and engaging in speculative arguments with him in my head. It wasn’t good. In the words of my three-year-old nephew, “It made me cwanky.” And after seeing him, I would become even “cwankier.”

Finally, there came a day when he pounced on me – in public and within earshot of friends – and barked an attack that I had fairly well anticipated. I tried to present him with the facts and solid reasoning that countered his rant, but I ended up ranting back.

Hours later, I was still carrying on the mutual diatribe in my head. Something had to change. It was simply not good for my mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being to anticipate seeing this man, to actually attempt a conversation with him, and to then be still ranting in my brain with him hours after our last encounter.

I prayed about it and I went to scripture. There, I found the following verses:

“Do not speak to fools, for they will scorn your prudent words.” (Proverbs 23:9)

“Do not answer fools according to their folly, or you yourself will become like them.” (Proverbs 26:4)

“Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good character.” (1Corinthians 15:33)

Now, I may or may not be accurate in assessing this man to be a fool, but there can be no doubt that, for me, this man was, indeed, Bad Company.

I resolved to take action.

Two days later, the man approached me, smiling, and asked an innocent question. I could have easily smiled back and let by-gones be by-gones, but I answered shortly and then said without hesitation, “You and I can no longer speak with each other.” (That may sound harsh. I ask you to consider that it took ten years for me to get there.)

He flinched slightly, recovered quickly, and said, “That’s no problem.”

I went on to explain, “You’re the most bitter and abrasive person I know and I can’t have that poison in my life.”

He repeated, “That’s no problem,” and walked away.

We have not spoken to each other in the eight months hence, and I have no intention of breaking my silence. I have not said anything to our mutual friends about the man or my decision not to speak with him. I pray for him nightly. And I ask God to heal our relationship, but until – and unless – that happens I know that it is God’s command for me to have nothing to do with him. His bitterness is poison to my soul and nobody’s “friendship” is worth that.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/christ-and-cutting-somebody-out-of-your-life-1761034.html

About the Author

Richard Jarzynka is the author of “Blessed with Bipolar” (http://www.bipolarman.org) He has used the “symptoms” of the disorder to help him counsel clients; run a marathon; grow in his christian faith; and earn a masters degree in psychology, a scholarship to law school, and a football scholarship. He blogs at www.bipolarman.org/blog

Awhile back, I wrote an article on the benefits of an organized home. Well, I have to confess that I let it slip. For several months I lost control of my house and clutter prevailed.

After my son missed an event because of a misplaced paper, I finally said, “enough is enough”- and by the end of the day, I had everything in it’s place.

Clutter may not effect you like it does me but after having a fresh taste of messiness versus neatness, I am once again willing to pay the price.

Some of the things I noticed:

It seems like I have much more time.

I am more focused. It’s easier to concentrate on the tasks I am working on.

You have probably heard the saying “change effects change,” well, now that my house is clean again, I have started decorating my kitchen.

I admit I may be a bit too compulsive. I have gotten quite the looks from my husband when he has returned to his chair only to find that his glass of water has disappeared or the fork he was eating with has mysteriously ended up in the dishwasher.

But anyway, my quest for an orderly existence continues. If your life seems topsy turvy, you may want to give it a try.

Tips on how to have an organized home.

Once you discover your God-given calling, you will need to be diligent in order to stay focused. In the past few years, I have found myself getting sidetracked again and again.  Here are some of the things that can distract you from your goals.

New opportunities- It’s called “the bright, shiny object syndrome.” Often it comes in the form of a new business venture or a higher paying job that requires so much time and energy that you have nothing left to invest in your dream.

Instead of allowing your emotions to get caught up in the moment, ask yourself, “How is this going to help me achieve my goals?”

Thoughts of doubt- Thoughts like,  “Am I really supposed to do this? or “I am not qualified,” or  “My aunt said it was a dumb idea and she’s probably right.”

The things that money will buy.  It may be a bigger house, a new car, or the best kitchen cabinets on the market. There is nothing wrong with having these things, but if you have to get a second or third job to pay for them or spend so much time taking care of them that your dream gets put on the back burner-you may want to rethink your purchases.

The TV or Internet.  How easy it is to sit in front of the television and let it entertain you or surf the Internet-going from website to website with no particular purpose in mind. Again, there is nothing wrong with these things, the problem comes when you are wasting hour after hour of precious time that could be spent doing things to move you closer to your dreams.

This year make the decision to cut down on or get rid of the things in your life that are hindering you from reaching your goals.  As it says in Hebrews 12:1 (LT version) let us get rid of everything that keeps us from moving full steam ahead on the path that is set before us.

With the new year right around the corner, many people are writing out their new years resolutions.  While I have found that making new years resolutions don’t work for me, I do think it is a good time to evaluate my life, set new goals and realign old ones.

Challenge yourself but be realistic.  If you are taking care of a family and a house and working at a job 20 hours a week, you probably won’t do well to set a goal to work on your business 5 hours a day.

Write out your primary goals and break them into smaller achievable goals.  For example if your goal is to write a book on organization,  some of your sub goals would be to research your topic, and write your first draft and find someone to edit the book.

I find that I am much more apt to read my goals regularly if they are typed or written out neatly.  If they are jotted down on a crumpled up piece of paper, I don’t usually ever look at them again.

Some of your old goals may need to be tweaked or eliminated to line up with your vision for this new year. For example, perhaps one of your goals was to start taking classes so you could get a job in the medical field but after praying about it, you decide this is not a good idea-so this goal can be taken off your list.