Is Hubby Blaming You For Everything That Goes Wrong?
After receiving some negative feedback from the post My Husband Blames Me for Everything (even though I know I can’t please everyone), I thought I would rewrite it from a different perspective.
“My husband blames me for everything,” is the sentiment of many women. There are many reasons why your husband may be treating you unfairly- he may have low self-esteem, feel guilty about something, be depressed or he may just be mean and cynical.
By the way-if your husband is being abusive-get professional help.
Sometimes the situation is temporary. He is just going through a tough time in his life and all you can do is be an understanding wife till he gets through it.
Every situation is different so I really can’t tell you why your husband blames you for the stuff that goes wrong but I can share one common reason why this happens- unmet emotional needs. If his needs are not being met he will feel frustrated and may be angry without even knowing why.
Some women want to argue that the man needs to grow up and take responsibility. So what else is new? And yes, I realize “Its not fair” because women have needs too.
All I can say is that in some cases when the wife starts meeting the husband’s needs he stops blaming her for everything that goes wrong.
Here are some of the needs of men that Willard Harley addresses in his book *His Needs, Her Needs
1. Sexual fulfillment. It is not enough to “be available.” Your husband needs to feel that he is desirable to you sexually. Take marriage classes, read books and learn how to become the lover he needs.
2. An attractive spouse. Yes this is an emotional need that some men have. Many women have discovered that they can quickly put their man in a better mood by simply looking their best. Remember how good you looked for him when you first met each other? Don’t quit just because you are married.
3. Domestic support. Find out what is important to him and make it a priority. Does it seem to make him grumpy when the house is a mess? Does he need some downtime after he gets off work or does he prefer to have dinner ready?
4. Honest admiration and appreciation. (Skip the flattery-he’ll see right through it.) Take note of his accomplishments and let him know you appreciate him. This will inspire him to be his best.
Just because your husband is blaming you for everything does not mean it is your fault but when his negative behavior is caused by unmet emotional needs, you may be able to help him break out of this cycle.
*Disclosure: paid affiliate
