Marriage Tips For Women

One of the best things you can do for your husband and your marriage is to help him give you the affection you need. Unmet emotional needs can cause all kind of negative emotions such as feelings of unworthiness, resentment, and anger. Here are some tips on how to get the affection you need:

Decide what you need from him. What is it that makes you feel appreciated and loved by your man? Hugs? Help around the house? Maybe you just need him to talk to you and ask you about your day. Read The Five Love Languages for further clarification on this topic.

Let him know what you need. This may seem obvious, but many women do not do this because it seems awkward. One easy way to get the message across is to express appreciation when he does something that makes you feel good. For example if he walks up to you and gives you a hug and it makes you feel appreciated- you could say, “Thank-you, it really makes me feel good when you give me a hug.” or if it makes you feel loved when he keeps your car filled with gas-say, “I appreciate you keeping my car filled with gas-it makes me feel like I am special to you.”

Another way to let him know is by working it into your conversation at opportune times. You might witness a woman being mean to her husband and you might jokingly say, “I’ll bet she would’ve been more understanding, if he would have just given her a hug and some compliments this morning.”

You may also want to have a heart to heart talk to let him know what you need. Hint: he will be much more apt to hear what you are is saying if his needs have been met- for most men it’s sexual fulfillment-just in case you were wondering.

Or you could do what I did one day. My needs had not been met in awhile and my husband’s faults seemed to be overwhelming. I felt angry and did not want to do anything he asked me to do. I knew what my problem was, so I trimmed down some cardstock and wrote on it:

How to get your wife to do just about anything you want her to with a good attitude

1. Give her lots of affection(hugs, compliments)
2.Give her your full attention when she is talking and don’t give her advice.
3. When you want her to help you with something you are doing, present it in a way that considers her feelings for example, “I know you really do not like to cook for other people but I would really like to have my family over for dinner, would you please help me get everything ready?”

At least 98% of the time this method should work.

Then I handed him the card and told him to put it in his wallet. I do not know what he did with the card (I am pretty sure he did not put it in his wallet) but at least I felt better.

Do your spouse a favor and help him speak your love language . It will help you be a better wife, he will be more confident as a husband  and you will be more willing to meet his needs-it’s a win-win situation.

The Five Love Languages