Here is the scenerio: I was working on a writing project on my computer when my husband walked in after working 8 plus hours. I looked at him briefly, greeted him and promptly turned and started working on my project again.

I noticed he did not seem very happy with me and as he meandered off to bed, I wondered, “What’s wrong with him?”

Then I had this conversation with myself:

“Geesh, Lorene- when your husband comes home from work, don’t just ignore him. Is it that difficult to smile at him and give him a few minutes of your attention. At least let him know you are glad to see him.”

Anyway, that’s my marriage thought for the day.  May you be inspired to  greet your man with some enthusiasm when he comes home today.

Christian Marriage Advice – 3 Ways to Know If You Respect Your Husband

By Lesia Gregoryand Mark Gregory

Every wife wants to have a loving and respectful husband but when it comes to us respecting our husbands we often times compromise. There are three ways to know if you are being respectful to your husband and we will look at them below:

What Does the Bible Say?

Once I am counseling a wife and I find out she is a Christian I go straight for the bible. If this is what we live by then it should be applied to every area of our lives. The role of a wife is no exception, because the bible explicitly encourages wives to respect their husbands.

Let us look at what Ephesians chapter six and verse thirty three says, “However, each of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

The first half tells the husband to love his wife. We will have to discuss this in another article. What I want you to focus on is the second half that relates directly to you.

Now, respect cannot be conditional, if you respect me I will respect you. That is not how it works. Too often we allow the other person’s behavior to dictate our actions and we end up having a troubled marriage.

How Do You speak To Him?

Wives, it is not okay to fly off the handle and at the same time expect our husbands to pamper, adore and respect us.

Love and respect has to go both ways. I am always sobered by Proverbs chapter twenty five verse twenty four which says, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

This is exactly how many husbands feel when you are always quarrelling, arguing or nagging. I have heard of wives who complain that their husbands do not love to stay home. That they prefer hanging with the boys, that they stay back late at work or are just no where to be found.

Many times, these wives are the ones who contribute to their husbands’ absence because their husbands prefer being around individuals who treat them with more respect. Maybe you are experiencing this situation. Maybe you need to look at how you have contributed to this distance. Maybe you need to tame your tongue.

How Do You Speak About Him With Your Friends?

Respect is not only expected when you are with your husband but also when you are apart.

There are many wives who speak badly about their husbands with their friends. Sometimes, if their friends did not know their husbands they would think they were talking about a monster.

Because of this attitude their friends sometimes lose respect for him and treat him with the same amount of contempt. This is done in front of and behind his back

It is your responsibility to ensue that you are not only respectful of your husband but that you expect it of your friends. They should know where you stand in this area and should never be allowed to cross the line.

Let us remember our role as wives and ensure that we are helping to make our marriage a success.

About The Authors:

Mark and Lesia Gregory are Marriage Counselors & Wedding Planners with over 10 years of experience. They are the authors of: “The Marriage Thermometer – Let’s get your marriage steaming hot; “Improve Your Sex Life; “Keep Him Satisfied……At Home and “The Wife Toolkit – 12 heavy duty tools to keep your wife happy.

Let them help you improve your marriage starting this week: http://marriagethermometer.com/

Do you want to have a passionate and steaming hot marriage? Life is too short to spend it wishing things were different when you can do something about it. Get your FREE Marriage Ecourse Today!

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“My husband blames me for everything,” is the sentiment of many women. There are many reasons why your husband may be treating you unfairly- he may have low self-esteem, feel guilty about something, be depressed or he may just be mean and cynical.

By the way-if your husband is being abusive-get professional help.

Sometimes the situation is temporary. He is just going through a tough time in his life and all you can do is be an understanding wife till he gets through it.

Every situation is different so I really can’t tell you why your husband blames you for the stuff that goes wrong but I can share one common reason why this happens- unmet emotional needs. If his needs are not being met he will feel frustrated and may be angry without even knowing why.

Some women want to argue that the man needs to grow up and take responsibility. So what else is new? And yes, I realize “Its not fair” because women have needs too.

All I can say is that in some cases when the wife starts meeting the husband’s needs he stops blaming her for everything that goes wrong.

Here are some of the needs of men that Willard Harley addresses in his book  *His Needs, Her Needs

1. Sexual fulfillment. It is not enough to “be available.” Your husband needs to feel that he is desirable to you sexually. Take marriage classes, read books and learn how to become the lover he needs.

2. An attractive spouse. Yes this is an emotional need that some men have. Many women have discovered that they can quickly put their man in a better mood by simply looking their best. Remember how good you looked for him when you first met each other? Don’t quit just because you are married.

3. Domestic support. Find out what is important to him and make it a priority. Does it seem to make him grumpy when the house is a mess? Does he need some downtime after he gets off work or does he prefer to have dinner ready?

4. Honest admiration and appreciation. (Skip the flattery-he’ll see right through it.) Take note of his accomplishments and let him know you appreciate him. This will inspire him to be his best.

Just because your husband is blaming you for everything does not mean it is your fault but when his negative behavior is caused by unmet emotional needs, you may be able to help him break out of this cycle.

*Disclosure: paid affiliate

Secret to Marriage Longevity
By H. Lena Jones

After thirty-five years of marriage, I feel highly qualified to share a few encouraging facts about the secret to marriage longevity. As I promised, they can be summarized into five (5) words. If, after reading this brief article, you have suggestions of your own, please feel free to let me know.

Once the first seven years of marriage have passedyou know, those years of adjustment when he establishes who wears the pants, and reminds you to be subservient, and you wonder what happened to all those “courting days” promises of peace, love, chocolates, and flowers well, that was yesterday! Now you now take control, but not in obvious ways!

When something needs repairing, don’t come right out and say so; just mention it in passing, during lunch or perhaps during dinner. Keep Jesus ever close, and wisdom He will grant. Patience will be your virtue, and prayer your best ally; for you see, in a day or two or even ten, hubby will say to you, “My dear, I think that thing needs fixing. I’ll get to it today.” The idea must be his!

You see, my friend, the key is always to remember that the idea must be his! Never feel offended, or say “I have a brain”. Of course you do, for we all know that behind every successful man is a brilliant woman YOU! And behind that brilliant woman is her precious Lord and Saviour — Jesus! He will never insult, leave, nor forsake you.

What most men fail to realize is “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing; And obtaineth favour of the Lord!” (Proverbs 18:22) In other words, they can’t live without us!

That’s it!  My secret to marriage longevity in a nutshell THE IDEA MUST BE HIS!  As Promised those are the five (5) words!

H. Lena Jones has a passion for all things spiritual. Her strict Anglican upbringing encouraged her deep commitment to Jesus Christ. This has grown over the years. Writing is a special gift. She hopes to encourage many to give their lives to Jesus. Her website is: http://www.dailysoulfoodforyou.com

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS-MAKE A WEBSITE

You probably won’t wonder why that brought tears to my eyes. I was not sad. I was overcome with gratitude at how much our marriage has changed from 20 years ago. There were times when we hated each other. Not pleasant at all.

I started contemplating about some of the ways I have changed.

One of the major changes I’ve made is to “do less for him and appreciate more what he does for” me. (From What Your Mother Couldn’t Tell You and Your Father Didn’t Know by John Gray).

When our husbands know we genuinely appreciate them, it’s much more fun for them to do things for us.

Practical ways to do this:

When he speaks your love language (whether it’s a hug, a compliment or just letting you talk) you might say, “Thank-you for___________. It really makes me feel loved.”

When he offers to do something for you say, “That would be great, thank you so much.”

When he gives you something or does something you really appreciate let him see you get excited or (if you’re emotional like I am) cry tears of joy.

Actively look for and express gratitude for the things he does on a regular basis. Never take him for granted.

Women often think they have to do things for their husband to convey their love. If you have been caught in this trap, try doing less for him and appreciating more what he does for you.

Don’t nag him about his spiritual walk (going to church, reading his Bible, praying etc). It is not your job to try and convince him to change.

It’s okay to discuss spiritual matters, but don’t have the attitude that you are spiritually superior.  If your discussion leads into an argument, change the subject.

Do pray for laborers to be sent across his path-someone he’ll listen to who will inspire him to do the right thing.

Don’t try to impress him with how spiritual you are or try to prove to him that God speaks to you.  Instead be humble and be led by the Holy Spirit in your conversations with him.  Be quick to apologize when you make a mistake.

Don’t leave hints.  Some women try to help their man grow spiritually by buying books for him to read or leaving an open Bible where he is sure to see it.

Don’t put your church ahead of your marriage- in other words, don’t invest so much time in your church that you have nothing left for your husband.  And please, do not go home and tell your husband how spiritual and wonderful the pastor is.  This will only create resentment and jealousy.

When God speaks to you and tells you to do something, unless it’s a situation that involves your husband, be cautious about asking him what he thinks. If your husband is not spiritually minded-it may seem like foolishness to him and he will try to talk you out of it.

Work on meeting your husband’s most important needs.  In His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley states that the top 5 needs of most husbands are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support and admiration.  After his needs are met, he’ll be much more interested in growing spiritually.

A variation of this is women who say, “I am believing God to turn my marriage around,” but in reality they have given up. The evidence that this is happening is that there is no joy and no expectancy in their lives. They are passively letting their problems get the best of them.

Some people pretend the problem doesn’t exist or refuse to acknowledge that it’s really a problem.  For example, “My husband is mean to me but it’s OK because that’s just the way he is.” or “The Bible tells me to walk in love so I will patiently endure.”  Some ignore others bad behavior because they secretly feel that they deserve to be treated that way.  Fear of confrontation or the hope that ignoring the problem will cause it to go away or simply just not knowing what to do about it are some of the reasons women do not confront issues.

Some lash out at their spouse. Most people who are skidding toward divorce have convinced themselves that their marriage partner is the problem. “It’s his fault. He is selfish, mean and lazy.  He has hurt me, but I’ll get even. I’ll make him pay for the way he’s treated me.  I’ll show him that he can’t do that to me!”

Last, but not least, you could be proactive and face the problem head-on.  Study it calmly and open-mindedly and ask God for wisdom as you uncover the underlying causes of your marital problems.  Take inventory of possible resources, and then deliberately and courageously work on the solution that’s best for everybody involved.

Some things are beyond your control. You can’t do much about  the kind of mother your husband has or the characteristics he’s inherited.  However you can change yourself. You can pray for your husband and your marriage, and change the way you act, talk and think. The courageous woman  accepts the unchangeable factors in the problem and sets about correcting the conditions which are within her control–especially her own habits and responses.

Evaluate yourself and think about how you deal with issues that come up in your marriage? Is it the best way? By doing this exercise you may discover that there is a better way to deal with your problems and it may be just what you need to start transforming your marriage.

Products to Help Your Marriage

Admiration helps him face life with a good attitude and makes him to feel compensated him for past accomplishments. When he feels that you truly appreciate what he’s done, it gives him more pleasure then he would receive from getting a paycheck.

Your praise must always be genuine. Make sure you are not harboring any resentments towards him. If you give him compliments that are not sincere, he may become resentful and feel like you are trying to manipulate him.

The simple act of admiring your husband will meet one of his most basic needs. It will inspire him to be his best and cause him to want to give you those things you most desire.

Click here to watch video Tale of Two Brains

If you are like me, this short video left you wanting more.  If you would like to own this DVD, you can find it here:  Dvd’s By Mark Gungor

First you want to ask God for His help and wisdom.  No situation is alike and everyone has a different personality.

You will want to apologize if you did something wrong.  If you confronted him about something, you might let him know you understand why he did it.

Most marriage counselors say to give him space and be patient.  As you give him time to get over it, do things that make you feel happy and good about yourself- exercise, clean something, spend time praying, call a friend, go shopping or bake a cake. This will help you keep a healthy perspective and get rid of any resentment you may be experiencing.

When you are around him, don’t try to make him talk or feel guilty for the way he is treating you. If he is tight-lipped, try giving him a compliment.  If he is resting quietly, don’t say anything.  If he starts talking, listen and give him your full attention.

One way to help him come out of his shell is to ask him to do something for you and then let him know you appreciate it. For example, you could ask him for a neck massage or a hug and tell him how good it makes you feel.

One woman said her situation turned around when she went to her husband with tear-filled eyes and said “It feels like you hate me and I don’t like feeling this way.”

Every situation is unique. You may be tempted to retaliate and give him a taste of his own medicine but this will only make the problem worse. Instead, look to God to show you how to best help your husband reconnect with you.

How To Confront Him Without Creating A Barrier