Some years back, my youngest brother joined IBM to sell computer systems. Since I had worked as an IBM Systems Engineer in the same division, he asked if I could offer some tips about success.

“I have one major tip for success,” I replied. “It doesn’t depend on other people or any particular situation, and it will enhance your chances of success, guaranteed. Here it is: When you move, move with purpose.”

To say he reacted cooly to my big tip fails to catch the chill. He puffed up into a full-blown attitude, condescension and all, in about a nanosecond.

He snorted, if I remember the words correctly “That’s really dumb. That’s your big idea? Move with purpose? And that’s going to make me successful?”

“Yeah, that’s it. When you move, move with purpose. And before you get all high and mighty, you ought to try it. If it doesn’t work, feel free to cop all the attitude you want, but if you don’t even try it, don’t come whining to me if you mess up.”

(Big sisters have many, many duties. Attitude control tops the list.)

“Okay. So tell me what you’re talking about.”

Well, his reply made my heart smile, so I told him.

When you’re at workwhether at IBM or a customer’s office and you move from one place to another, behave as if getting to your destination carries importance. It doesn’t matter if you’re going to the bathroom, to get a cup of coffee or to run an important meeting. When you move, move with purpose. Don’t shuffle. Don’t amble. Don’t stroll. Move with purpose.

There are, of course, some considerations. Don’t go crashing through the place knocking people over like ten pins. The maiming of co-workers is never a good career move. You’ll want to avoid that. Besides, that’s not moving with purpose; that’s acting like your pants are on fire.

Also, don’t behave as if you have blinders on, making the people you pass feel invisible. Brief pleasantries should be handed out with abandon, like lemon drops. Ignoring co-workers or projecting self-importance will undo the benefits of how you walk. That sort of dumping on morale makes work miserable for everybody.

So be the nice guy who moves with purpose.

And here’s what happens: People will add a bunch of points to your IQ. They’ll see you as more creative. They’ll mark you as a comer. And management will see you as somebody more dedicated to the job than the average bear. What’s really interesting is you’ll find yourself living up to those perceptions.

His face couldn’t decide whether to look skeptical, bewildered or altogether disbelieving, so he wandered off.

Several months later, though, we returned to the conversation.

“Sis, do you remember that stuff about moving with purpose?”

“Sure.”

“It works. People think I’m some kind of hero.”

I took a mental victory lap.

“How does something that simple make such a big difference?”

“I have no idea. I just noticed that it did.”

And now you know, too. You should pay the big bucks for advice as good as this.

Bette Dowdell worked as an IBM Systems Engineer, small company consultant and software company owner. Now, as then, she writes and speaks. Her latest book is On We March: A memoir of growing up in The Salvation Army. Read more at http://www.ConfidentFaith.com, and get a free subscription to Bette’s quotes.

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS-MAKE A WEBSITE

2. When he gives you a compliment say, “What do you want?”

3. If he offers to help you with something say “Oh you don’t need to do that, I’ll get it.”

4. While he’s eating a bag of potato chips and a candy bar say “I’m sure glad you have life insurance.”

5. When he’s watching television make sure he can see that you are working hard to clean the house. Slam the door several times.

6. When he’s taking you somewhere in the car, don’t relax even for a minute. Make sure you “slam the brakes” on your side of the car so he’ll know he should slow down.

7. After he’s made elaborate plans to take you to the Queen’s Buffet for dinner you say “Why don’t we go to the Hotdog café down the road.”

8. Every day when he comes home from work have on the same shapeless, grubby clothes you had on the day before. Make sure you don’t let him see any skin.

9. When he takes you to a movie, complain that they keep the theater too cold and that the popcorn is too salty.

10. When you go shopping for yourself only buy the cheapest items and then let him know so he can appreciate what a thrifty shopper you are.

11. When he kills a trophy buck or bear or some other hapless beast, say “I thought it would be bigger.”

12. Never let him see you cry. If you are watching a sad part of a movie, chew on some ice to distract yourself.

13. Impress him with your independence. Show him that you can do almost everything he can do.

14. When he gives you something you really like, tell him thank-you but don’t get too excited.

15. Be his friend and let him know that you know he really does not have what it takes to be the spiritual leader in your house but you still love him. Buy him a Bible and mark the  chapters he should focus on the most.

I hope you find some humor and insight in this list of things not to do in your marriage. Most of us were not given a step by step manual of how to live with our husband so we learn by trying new things, making mistakes and laughing at ourselves as we progress to a better marriage.  Discover how to keep the passion alive in your marriage at marriage tips for women website.

The first reason- he may not be motivated. He may feel like his efforts are not appreciated and that he is not important to you. Maybe he works hard every day with no acknowledgement from you or maybe he has bought gifts for you in the past and your response was less than favorable. If you are excited and pleased with something he does-he will want to do it again.

Your husband wants to be your hero. He gets pleasure from meeting your needs and desires and if he does not feel like he is successful, he will quit trying and may look for other people to satisfy this need. You may see him helping or buying extravagant gifts for other women in his life-his secretary, his co-worker, his sister- leaving you feeling angry, confused, neglected and unloved.

He may mow his mother’s lawn even though you’ve been asking him to mow yours for weeks. Why is this? Often times he is doing the things that help him feel the most appreciated and valued as a man.

The second reason-possibly he does not know what you want. Unless you tell him, do not assume he knows. Be tactful and let him know how you feel but do not demand a change. For example, you may want him to help you with the dishes after dinner. You can say “Why don’t you ever help me with the dishes?” or “Honey I know you worked hard today and you are probably tired but it would really make me feel good if you’d help me with the dishes.” If he chooses to help, be sure to give him a sincere thanks.

By helping your husband fulfill your desires, you will have a better marriage, you will be happier and feel loved and your husband’s need to make you happy will be at least partially satisfied.

Go to my marriage tips for women website and discover more tips on how to have a great marriage.

1. Never disagree with him in front of your children.

2. Always say positive things about him to others, doing so in his presence is especially good.

3. Don’t try to be his chief advisor. If he chooses to discuss something with you, listen to him but refrain from giving advice.

4. Watch his favorite TV shows or movies with him without criticizing them.

5. Find out what is important to him and make it a priority. Does he like dinner to be ready when he gets home from work? Does a messy house make him irritable? Focus your efforts on those things that matter most to him.

6. Always treat him with respect. When he makes a mistake, don’t treat him like a disobedient child or talk to him in a way that humiliates him.

7. Let him know he is your hero. Find things to compliment him on-his accomplishments, his body, his character traits. Give him smiles that say “you are the best.”

8. Look good for him. This may mean fixing up your hair, putting on make-up, or wearing clothes that he likes to see you in-whatever it is that makes him want to look at you.

9. While he is within hearing distance, tell your children what a wonderful dad they have and discuss the things he does that makes him a great father.

10. Let him know you desire him sexually. If your husband feels confident as a lover, it will carry over to the other areas of his life.

There are many things to do to make your husband feel special. When you choose to make him feel important, you are laying the groundwork for him to rise above mediocrity and accomplish great things in his life.

Discover more tips on how to have a great marriage at my website: Marriage Tips For Women 

Pray for wisdom about how you can best help him (James 1:5). Whether your husband is just going through a difficult time or he is dealing with chronic low self-esteem, God will show you the best way to respond to him.

You cannot change him but you can change yourself and how you react to him. Often the husband will modify his behavior when the wife changes the way she responds to him.

Not having his sexual needs met, feelings of not being appreciated or needed, financial problems and myriad of other conditions can all contribute to his frustrations.

If your husband is dissatisfied in one area of his life or in his relationship with you, it may crop up as problems in other areas of your marriage.

This article has been revised and can be found at Husband Blames Me For Everything

Do not nag him. Nagging can come in the form of asking him to do something and repeatedly reminding him or dropping hints of things you want him to do. Whether you are continually telling him that he should eat more vegetables or spend more time with his mom-it has the same effect. It will douse his flames of love for you.

Appreciate him. There is nothing quite as motivating to a man as sincere expression of gratitude from his wife. Let him know you are grateful for those hard hours he puts in at work or for getting the car washed or helping out around the house. When he makes an attempt to do something nice like taking you out to eat or to see a movie, be appreciative and let him know you are enjoying yourself.

Admire him. Make a list of all the things you appreciate about him-especially his masculine traits like his beard, his muscular arms or his deep voice. Pick one item from your list every day and compliment him.

Be his friend. When he talks, look at him and pay attention to what he is saying. Do not give advice or try to help him solve his problems. Do not repeat what he says to other people-this is a sure way to lose his confidence in you.

Let him lead. If he makes a suggestion, instead of saying “What a dumb idea” if at all possible say, “Yes, let’s do that.” God has put within men the ability and desire to lead and protect their families. If you challenge his leadership, he will resent you which will cause marriage problems.

So if you are asking does he mean it when he says I love you, start applying these principles and watch the passion return to your marriage. 

For more tips on how to bring out the best in your man, visit: Marriage Tips For Women

Many times the reason why your husband feels like he longer loves you is because you quit doing those things that arouse these feelings in him.  So if he is packing his bags or he is telling you he wants out of the marriage, dont’t just throw in the towel and think it’s over.

At first you may go through feelings of disbelief, and anger and you may even beg him not to leave. These feelings are normal, but in order to turn this situation around you will need to get control of your emotions.  If he chooses to go, let him go and do not attempt to make him feel guilty.  If you really want him back, ask God to give you wisdom.   Let Him show you where you missed it.   Because men and women think so differently you may not automatically know what a man needs in a relationship and often times he is not able to tell you.

Do some soul searching, read some good books on marriage and come up with a plan.  Do not allow yourself get pulled in a mire of self-pity and depression as you hope and pray he changes his mind.

Even if he is already living somewhere else, don’t think that it is too late.  Study Fascinating Womanhood and take notes.  Learn what it that arouses feelings of love in a man and next time you see him, practice these techniques. 

This may be a time when you experience bouts of low self-esteem.   You can help combat these feelings by spending time meditating in the word and working on improving yourself-starting an exercise program, getting a new hairstyle and buying some new clothes that help you feel better about yourself.  

If you are asking how to save my marriage do not despair.  Be proactive and take the steps necessary to turn this situation around.  It will require incredible self-discipline to not succumb to the pain that you may experience but is your marriage worth fighting for?   

Go to Marriage Advice for Women for more helpful information.

1. Put on a sexy outfit and heels and serve him breakfast in bed.

2. Make his favorite dessert and serve it to him.

3. Give him a back massage in a romantic setting- maybe some scented candles, soft music and his favorite chocolates.

4. Rent or buy a movie you know he likes and watch it with him. Make it special by dimming the lights and serving buttered popcorn and a beverage of his choice.

5. Give him a homemade coupon book filled with coupons of things you know he likes. Use your imagination and he’ll love you for it.

6. Buy him a subscription to his favorite magazine.

7. If you have children-have them make him a birthday card and write why they appreciate their dad.

8. On a poster board-write down the things you appreciate about your man-his accomplishments, his character traits-anything you can think of and tape it in a place where he will be sure to see it on his special day.

9. Get dressed up in a dress he loves to see you in and take him to his favorite restaurant.

10. Get him a gift certificate to his favorite store and tell him to buy something for himself.

11. Arrange an overnight get-away at a local bed and breakfast.

12. Make dinnertime special. Cook his favorite meal. Use your best dishes, and put candles or fresh flowers on the table, and look as alluring as possible. Make sure your attitude matches your outfit or all your best efforts will be for naught.

Great birthday gifts for him require thoughtfulness and do not need to be expensive. 

Use this list to get your creativity flowing and come up with a plan. Write out the details and make it happen.  It’s important that your attitude matches your efforts. If things do not work out the way you planned-don’t despair. You are creating wonderful memories and your husband will appreciate your efforts in making his birthday special.

For more ideas on how to bring out the best in your man go to: marriage tips for women