Funny Marriage Advice For Women: 15 Things Not To Do
A healthy dose of humor is a vital part of any marriage. After many years of being married, I can look back and see the error of my ways and laugh at the things I did. I thought you might enjoy this list of things you will not want to do if you value your marriage.
1. If he wants to buy you something say “Are you sure we can afford it?”
2. When he gives you a compliment say, “What do you want?”
3. If he offers to help you with something say “Oh you don’t need to do that, I’ll get it.”
4. While he’s eating a bag of potato chips and a candy bar say “I’m sure glad you have life insurance.”
5. When he’s watching television make sure he can see that you are working hard to clean the house. Slam the door several times.
6. When he’s taking you somewhere in the car, don’t relax even for a minute. Make sure you “slam the brakes” on your side of the car so he’ll know he should slow down.
7. After he’s made elaborate plans to take you to the Queen’s Buffet for dinner you say “Why don’t we go to the Hotdog café down the road.”
8. Every day when he comes home from work have on the same shapeless, grubby clothes you had on the day before. Make sure you don’t let him see any skin.
9. When he takes you to a movie, complain that they keep the theater too cold and that the popcorn is too salty.
10. When you go shopping for yourself only buy the cheapest items and then let him know so he can appreciate what a thrifty shopper you are.
11. When he kills a trophy buck or bear or some other hapless beast, say “I thought it would be bigger.”
12. Never let him see you cry. If you are watching a sad part of a movie, chew on some ice to distract yourself.
13. Impress him with your independence. Show him that you can do almost everything he can do.
14. When he gives you something you really like, tell him thank-you but don’t get too excited.
15. Be his friend and let him know that you know he really does not have what it takes to be the spiritual leader in your house but you still love him. Buy him a Bible and mark the chapters he should focus on the most.
I hope you find some humor and insight in this list of things not to do in your marriage. Most of us were not given a step by step manual of how to live with our husband so we learn by trying new things, making mistakes and laughing at ourselves as we progress to a better marriage. Discover how to keep the passion alive in your marriage at marriage tips for women website.
